The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 has always been one of my favorite bible stories. It has resonated with me for so much of my life and I constantly go back to it for reassurance and a great dose of truth.
Many times I see myself as the older brother who didn't take the money and run but there are definitely points in my life where I fall into the trap of taking what God has given me and running away from him to do life on my own. Like the prodigal son, I so often take what God has given me--my talents, skills, abilities, desires, wealth, my thoughts--and go about my life just the way I see fit. I essentially run away to a far off place where my Father has no say in what I do or how I spend my God-given wealth and abilities. I use my talents, skills, desires for my glory and gain or I horde my money and stray away from giving it to my local church or to missionary friends because I believe that somewhere down the road I will need that money for something.
Although this doesn't exactly parallel the prodigal son's actions of squandering his wealth in wild living, I too squander my spiritual wealth and gifts in selfish living. I even take it one step further like the prodigal son and hire myself out to gain back my wealth. The son got a job working on a farm feeding the pigs. This was not a glamorous or even good paying job as he longed for food and even considered eating the pig feed! Sounds like a desperate situation but yet again I find myself in the shoes of the prodigal son time and time again. I may not be in need of food and may not have to stoop so low to consider eating pig feed for my dinner but, I do desperately long for God's love and presence in my life. As I live for myself by using my gifts, talents and abilities to find praise, glory and satisfaction it leaves me empty and poor. I too go looking for a way to bring myself out of spiritual poverty by trying to find love and satisfaction in how I dress, look and appear to people or I think that I can draw closer to God by simply reading a good book about him. These aren't inherently bad things just like getting a job feeding the pigs but they don't pay the bills--they don't bring satisfaction or allow us to truly experience God's love. The only thing that does is God himself and his Word.
The coolest part of the story comes next though and this is the part that continually inspires me and helps me understand more fully God's true heart. We see that the son finally comes to his senses and realizes he can go back home and work for his father to receive food. Again, that's exactly my thinking sometimes. I finally come to my senses and figure out that I can return to God as long as I do the right things--using my talents, skills, abilities and wealth for His glory and honor. Let us keep tracking the story because it takes a brilliant twist. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." (Luke 15:20) Wow, what a picture of love! Who would have ever guessed this is how his father would have reacted? So many things stick out from this one verse of scripture but what I find amazing is that his father ran to him "while he was still a long way off." I think we miss this idea so often when reading this story. Bill Bright, the found of Campus Crusade for Christ, writes about this story and makes a great observation about the father. In order for the father to have been able to run to the son and meet him while he was a long way off means the father had to have been keeping watch for his son's return. What an amazing truth about who God is. Not only did the father lovingly embrace his son and throw a party for him at the son's return but, he was day after day watching and awaiting his son's return. That is how God sees us. He constantly is waiting and praying for my return to him. And when I return he is running to me to throw his arms around me and let me know I have to do nothing for him in order to receive His love and forgiveness. If I would live with this truth in mind I know my life would look radically different. I am slowly but surely more fully understanding God's love and character and I am so thankful that he uses this story in my life as a perfect example of who I am in light of His love.
You too can understand that even if you take the money and run He is waiting for your return to him so he can lovingly embrace you into his arms. Check out Luke 15:11-31 for yourself, it is an amazing story! What an amazing God who we can call our Father.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Traffic and Eternity
So, today I sat in traffic for about an hour and fifteen minutes. As you can imagine it was pretty frustrating and I still haven't warmed up to the traffic here in Miami even though I have been here 3 months now. As I sat in my car cruising down Kendall Drive going a whole 2.5 miles per hour I started thinking about my day and my job. I turned down the radio and just allowed myself to think, trying to push aside the rising frustration of the traffic jam. Slowly my thoughts drifted to my role as an intern with Cru.
Recently, I have been doubting the importance of my role doing full time ministry at FIU. Doubts kept creeping into my head that my labor and work wasn't making much of a difference or wasn't important because I wasn't doing a "real job". What I would call a real job is a 9 to 5 career where you receive a paycheck for the labor you put in while at work. Ministry definitely doesn't fit that description and never will. I work with students each day but you never know if they will show up to hang out with you or not. When they don't I often times feel useless because I am not fulfilling my duties as a missionary. In these moments is I feel the doubt set in that I am not doing something productive and effective for God.
It's funny that God brought me time to ponder these thoughts while sitting in traffic. God knew I couldn't escape this jungle of cars and he was allowing me to have some time to reflect on these doubts and what eternity really means. He was revealing to me the grand importance of my job as an intern. The fact that I get to work with about 8 guys every week is simply amazing yet I never stopped to think about it. God graciously allowed me to hang out with these guys weekly and point them to the God and Savior. It started to dawn on me that this was ultimately the most important thing possible to do in someone's life--point them to the one who gives them love, life and a hope. God was instilling in me an eternal perspective in one of the more unusual yet appropriate settings.
As I continued to ponder eternity I thought about the day when all people on heaven and on earth and under that earth will bow to Jesus. I looked at all of the cars around me and suddenly had pity and love for these hundreds of people that may or may not know Jesus. I realized that each person in each car would one day have to bow to Jesus but God has called me (and every other believer) to be a light to people like these. The beauty is that this is simply what I am doing as an intern! This thought made me so proud of my role and job; it allowed me to joyfully embrace this ministry God has called me to and started to relight the fire that once burned so brightly in my heart.
What God taught me today was two-fold. I am so thankful for this renewed perspective of my job and eternity. He also taught me not to hate traffic so much. Ha, God is slowly helping me warm up to the traffic by showing me he can use it for my good instead of simply annoying me. It's crazy how often he uses the little things in life to draw us closer to Him :)
Recently, I have been doubting the importance of my role doing full time ministry at FIU. Doubts kept creeping into my head that my labor and work wasn't making much of a difference or wasn't important because I wasn't doing a "real job". What I would call a real job is a 9 to 5 career where you receive a paycheck for the labor you put in while at work. Ministry definitely doesn't fit that description and never will. I work with students each day but you never know if they will show up to hang out with you or not. When they don't I often times feel useless because I am not fulfilling my duties as a missionary. In these moments is I feel the doubt set in that I am not doing something productive and effective for God.
It's funny that God brought me time to ponder these thoughts while sitting in traffic. God knew I couldn't escape this jungle of cars and he was allowing me to have some time to reflect on these doubts and what eternity really means. He was revealing to me the grand importance of my job as an intern. The fact that I get to work with about 8 guys every week is simply amazing yet I never stopped to think about it. God graciously allowed me to hang out with these guys weekly and point them to the God and Savior. It started to dawn on me that this was ultimately the most important thing possible to do in someone's life--point them to the one who gives them love, life and a hope. God was instilling in me an eternal perspective in one of the more unusual yet appropriate settings.
As I continued to ponder eternity I thought about the day when all people on heaven and on earth and under that earth will bow to Jesus. I looked at all of the cars around me and suddenly had pity and love for these hundreds of people that may or may not know Jesus. I realized that each person in each car would one day have to bow to Jesus but God has called me (and every other believer) to be a light to people like these. The beauty is that this is simply what I am doing as an intern! This thought made me so proud of my role and job; it allowed me to joyfully embrace this ministry God has called me to and started to relight the fire that once burned so brightly in my heart.
What God taught me today was two-fold. I am so thankful for this renewed perspective of my job and eternity. He also taught me not to hate traffic so much. Ha, God is slowly helping me warm up to the traffic by showing me he can use it for my good instead of simply annoying me. It's crazy how often he uses the little things in life to draw us closer to Him :)
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Knowing No Bounds?
This past week I have been revisiting the idea of boundaries. For my training part of my job I get to read a bunch of articles and listening to some talks and this past week we focused on the Growth Model developed by Henry Cloud and John Townsend (amazing stuff, you should check them out!). There are 4 aspects of the Growth Model: bonding, boundaries, good-bad split and adulthood. I really want to explain them all to you right now but for the sake of time and your sanity I won't. All 4 aspects struck me deeply as I started to learn that I suck at each of them. Don't feel too bad for me though because there is hope! As I realized I need to grow in each area, God gave me a deep peace and hope that he would allow me to grow. It all started with first admitting I sucked at each of them then letting God do his handy work in my life to build me in each.
The aspect that has been on my mind for the past week though has been boundaries. I thought I knew what boundaries were and I was pretty sure I had good ones. Little did I know I actually had virtually zero. Like I said, I suck at having boundaries.
It all started with first realizing what boundaries actually are. According to Cloud and Townsend boundaries are defining yourself, defining your responsibilities, defining your limits and (this is the kicker for me) accepting your limits as "God-given". What?! Accepting your limits as God-given? That can't be.... right? Well, as I pondered this though provoking definition of boundaries I realized that these guys were spot on. For as much as I didn't want to acknowledge that God has given me limitations it was most certainly true and I needed to embrace this definition boldly. See, for most of my life I have striven to be perfect and I never wanted to embrace or really even think about the idea that I have limits and weaknesses. It was always too scary to think that I may not have it all together so, I just brushed my weaknesses and limits under the rug and pretended like I didn't have any. As you can imagine this didn't work although, I made a great effort for many years putting on the show that I had everything together. Recently, and mostly because of this move to Miami, God has been breaking down this facade of having it all together. He is now forcing me to recognize my boundaries--to define who I am, define my responsibilities, define my limits and acknowledge my limits are God-given.
It is so funny how God works. As I am learning who I really am and how God created me as well as defining my responsibilities and acknowledging God has given me limits I feel more at peace. My outer shell has been broken down and I am being exposed for who I truly am but amidst all of this I feel more free and have the hope of soon feeling more whole. It is so true that God needs to break us down before he can build us back up. He is the potter and we are His clay. To start understanding that I am the clay God helped me understand boundaries. He was and will continue to show me my limitations and weaknesses but it's ok AND necessary for growth. I am knowing my bounds and I am so thankful to God for that!
The aspect that has been on my mind for the past week though has been boundaries. I thought I knew what boundaries were and I was pretty sure I had good ones. Little did I know I actually had virtually zero. Like I said, I suck at having boundaries.
It all started with first realizing what boundaries actually are. According to Cloud and Townsend boundaries are defining yourself, defining your responsibilities, defining your limits and (this is the kicker for me) accepting your limits as "God-given". What?! Accepting your limits as God-given? That can't be.... right? Well, as I pondered this though provoking definition of boundaries I realized that these guys were spot on. For as much as I didn't want to acknowledge that God has given me limitations it was most certainly true and I needed to embrace this definition boldly. See, for most of my life I have striven to be perfect and I never wanted to embrace or really even think about the idea that I have limits and weaknesses. It was always too scary to think that I may not have it all together so, I just brushed my weaknesses and limits under the rug and pretended like I didn't have any. As you can imagine this didn't work although, I made a great effort for many years putting on the show that I had everything together. Recently, and mostly because of this move to Miami, God has been breaking down this facade of having it all together. He is now forcing me to recognize my boundaries--to define who I am, define my responsibilities, define my limits and acknowledge my limits are God-given.
It is so funny how God works. As I am learning who I really am and how God created me as well as defining my responsibilities and acknowledging God has given me limits I feel more at peace. My outer shell has been broken down and I am being exposed for who I truly am but amidst all of this I feel more free and have the hope of soon feeling more whole. It is so true that God needs to break us down before he can build us back up. He is the potter and we are His clay. To start understanding that I am the clay God helped me understand boundaries. He was and will continue to show me my limitations and weaknesses but it's ok AND necessary for growth. I am knowing my bounds and I am so thankful to God for that!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Stop and Smell the Roses
Lately, I have been feeling a bit unsettled. Living here in Miami has had its ups and downs but this unsettled feeling didn't seem to be connected to the transition pains of moving to this new city. It seemed that God, through the Holy Spirit was nudging me to simply spend some time recognizing what he had done in my life and in this ministry I am apart of. I could hear his quiet, gentle voice saying, "Austin, stop and smell the roses."
I have a tendency to set my mind to something and just go for it. Pretty much if I going to do anything I have to do it all out. I'm an all or nothing guy. For instance, if I'm going to write a blog I have to put all my effort and thought into it. I can't just write half-heartedly about something going on in my life and usually this equates to long blogs as you may have noticed. Unfortunately, this mentality finds its way into all parts of my life including my ministry.
Despite my, at times, cursed mentality to go all out, God has been teaching me the great value of stopping to smell the roses. Usually, I forget to enjoy the ride and only focus on the end result. What this looks like in my ministry is that everyday I go to campus I strive to work hard for God and to try and make a difference in students' lives and hearts. The reality is though that some days it seems like God doesn't show up or that I am not making a difference. Thankfully the Holy Spirit prompted me to remember what God has been doing in my life and through my life to help students at FIU come to know God. Deuteronomy 6:12 says,"be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery." God is urging to the Israelites to remember what the Lord has done for them. The Israelites were known for their forgetfulness. Even though they were delivered from the Egyptians through the miraculous parting of the Red Sea they still tended to forget that it was God who delivered them. Not themselves, but God. I may as well been from the tribe of Israel because I embrace the same mentality on a regular basis. I have been forgetting to acknowledge God for the amazing things he has done at FIU and in my life.
I have been so focused and determined to see students' lives changed these first couple months here at FIU that I have neglected to step back and recognize that God has been doing a mighty work in my heart and in the hearts of some of the students I have worked with. There has been many times where I have asked God if he was even using me or working at FIU. I came to doubt God because I didn't remember or acknowledge what he has done. I never stepped back, stopped doing ministry for even just a moment to reflect and remember that God was moving and working and has been the whole.
I think of one of the students I work with and how God has been changing his life and shaping him into the man God has created him to be. I get to hang out with him every week almost and we have gotten really close through our time spent talking about God and his impact on our lives. God has showed him what his grace looks like and what it means to be a child of God. The heart change has been incredible to watch as he went from wavering in his faith and questioning his relationship with God to a man who knows he is a child of God and now wanting to share God's love with others. He has put God first and has given his life fully to him and seeing all of this has been such an encouragement to me. The crazy thing is that if I wouldn't have stopped and really considered what God was doing in my friend's life I may have continued to doubt that God was working in this ministry.
I really hope and pray that the Holy Spirit continues to remind me of how important it is to stop and smell the roses. I don't want to get sucked into simply working hard in ministry yet never recognizing God's work and God's hand in the lives of those around me. Stopping to smell the sweet aroma of the roses that God puts in my life allows me to continually trust in His sovereignty, love and power and prevents me from doubting His work.
I have a tendency to set my mind to something and just go for it. Pretty much if I going to do anything I have to do it all out. I'm an all or nothing guy. For instance, if I'm going to write a blog I have to put all my effort and thought into it. I can't just write half-heartedly about something going on in my life and usually this equates to long blogs as you may have noticed. Unfortunately, this mentality finds its way into all parts of my life including my ministry.
Despite my, at times, cursed mentality to go all out, God has been teaching me the great value of stopping to smell the roses. Usually, I forget to enjoy the ride and only focus on the end result. What this looks like in my ministry is that everyday I go to campus I strive to work hard for God and to try and make a difference in students' lives and hearts. The reality is though that some days it seems like God doesn't show up or that I am not making a difference. Thankfully the Holy Spirit prompted me to remember what God has been doing in my life and through my life to help students at FIU come to know God. Deuteronomy 6:12 says,"be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery." God is urging to the Israelites to remember what the Lord has done for them. The Israelites were known for their forgetfulness. Even though they were delivered from the Egyptians through the miraculous parting of the Red Sea they still tended to forget that it was God who delivered them. Not themselves, but God. I may as well been from the tribe of Israel because I embrace the same mentality on a regular basis. I have been forgetting to acknowledge God for the amazing things he has done at FIU and in my life.
I have been so focused and determined to see students' lives changed these first couple months here at FIU that I have neglected to step back and recognize that God has been doing a mighty work in my heart and in the hearts of some of the students I have worked with. There has been many times where I have asked God if he was even using me or working at FIU. I came to doubt God because I didn't remember or acknowledge what he has done. I never stepped back, stopped doing ministry for even just a moment to reflect and remember that God was moving and working and has been the whole.
I think of one of the students I work with and how God has been changing his life and shaping him into the man God has created him to be. I get to hang out with him every week almost and we have gotten really close through our time spent talking about God and his impact on our lives. God has showed him what his grace looks like and what it means to be a child of God. The heart change has been incredible to watch as he went from wavering in his faith and questioning his relationship with God to a man who knows he is a child of God and now wanting to share God's love with others. He has put God first and has given his life fully to him and seeing all of this has been such an encouragement to me. The crazy thing is that if I wouldn't have stopped and really considered what God was doing in my friend's life I may have continued to doubt that God was working in this ministry.
I really hope and pray that the Holy Spirit continues to remind me of how important it is to stop and smell the roses. I don't want to get sucked into simply working hard in ministry yet never recognizing God's work and God's hand in the lives of those around me. Stopping to smell the sweet aroma of the roses that God puts in my life allows me to continually trust in His sovereignty, love and power and prevents me from doubting His work.
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